Book # 31, 32, 33, 34

Faith of Our Fathers

By N.C. Allen

Book # 1: A House Divided

Book # 2: To Make Men Free

Book # 3: Through The Perilous Fight

Book # 4: One Nation Under God

I've wanted to read this historical series for some time because I wanted to learn more about the American Civil War. But I like to read series all at once and you need time for that and so the Christmas holidays were perfect. 

I don't want to tell a lot about it. Just a few things I learned and my impressions about the books. First of all, I don't remember a lot of history from school. For some reason I thought the civil war was a lot longer, like 10 years, but it was only 4. That's good because it was the deadliest war in American history, resulting in the deaths of 620,000 soldiers and an unknown number of civilian casualties. 

One thing that caught my interest was the riots that occurred in New York City and in a few other northern cities, when it became apparent that one of the goals of the war was to free the blacks from slavery. For many poor northerners, going to war against the south was okay to restore the union, but freeing the blacks was NOT a good cause, especially if those newly freed blacks came north and took all their jobs. The reason that interested me is because when I read another historical series, this time on the revolutionary war, it was also New York City where the people thought differently than many of their fellow countrymen. In that series, I was surprised to learn that not all "Americans" supported the revolutionary war. Many wanted to remain under the rule of the British Empire. They simply would have been satisfied with equal representation in Parliament, which is how it all started anyway. New York was full of British spies and sympathizers, and the British military set up headquarters there. When the British lost the war, many of those supporters moved to Canada. I never knew that. Not a really profound thing to write about, but at the time I wondered if there were some Canadians who wished that their ancestors had swallowed their pride and stayed put.

I liked the series and I learned a lot, but I found some of the story line forced and unconvincing. But it was great holiday entertainment nevertheless.

Until next time :o)

Book # 30

One on the Seasaw

The Ups and Downs of a Single-Parent Family

By Carol Lynn Pearson

It is obvious by the subtitle why I chose this book. I wanted to see how it is for another woman raising her children on her own. Or if I was crazy all by myself.....

.....NOPE!

Carol Lynn Pearson was well known in the 80's as an LDS poet, play-write and author. She wrote "Goodbye, I Love You", which was the story of her marriage and divorce to her gay husband, and of her care for him as he suffered and died from AIDS.

This book is stories of her children and of her life raising them on her own. My favorite chapter was the one titled "On the Seesaw". She compares being a single parent to "riding the seesaw all by yourself, taking some real hard bumps and running around a lot to hold down someone else's end as well as your own. But it's also sliding down the slippery slide by yourself, going as fast or as slow or as often as you want....Every time I start feeling terribly sorry for myself, something happens to remind me that there are worse things than being a single parent. Sometimes one of them is being a married parent." She then describes what the up side of being a single parent is to her.  Much of it reflects how I feel.

This is what the up side is for me, Elise...Raising my sons the way I want to. Having more peace in my home without the old bull to butt heads with the young bulls. Having the closet and the dresser drawers to myself. Sleeping in the middle of a king size bed, with all the pillows.  Spending the money and my free time the way I want to. Keeping house and making the meals the way I want to. I don't have to answer to another adult in my household.

Carol describes the downside very eloquently--"A single parent knows that the next shift is never coming in...the yard, the laundry, the empty refrigerator, they're all up to you...no matter how tired you get or how much you'd rather be on a beach reading, you have to keep going, going on empty, and trying not to let the kids see just how empty...Couples can feed each other energy, fill each other up. A single parent dips down into the solitary well until it is dry, dry, dry..." She then describes those who have helped fill her up. She told about the men in her ward who painted her house. When they finished she said, "Twenty men on one Saturday is not as good as one man on twenty Saturdays, or fifty-two Saturdays or years of Saturdays. But it is next best, a wonderful next best."

So the downside to me, Elise, oddly enough is some of the same things that are the upside. I like raising my sons the way I want to but I don't always KNOW how to do it. I don't  like being the solitary "bad guy". When you are a couple, you make a decision and  ideally, stand together, support each other. When you are alone, you stand alone and that can be intimidating against 5 sons who don't like your decision. I like sleeping alone because I am a light sleeper, but sleeping alone means ALWAYS sleeping alone and the deprivation that goes along with it. I hate being responsible for everything. And I hate it when I have to let something go, simply for my sanity's sake. I hate driving home from up north and the kids are all asleep and there is no one to talk to. I hate not having someone around who loves my kids as much as I do. I hate going to the temple alone. I hate not having someone around to tell me when I'm out of control. I hate having to wait until a movie comes on DVD because I don't want to go to the theater alone. But the worst is NOT having another adult around to answer to. Someone to make a better meal for -- the kids really don't care. Someone to clean the house up nice for -- the kid really don't care. Someone to keep in shape for -- the kids really don't care. Someone to put on makeup for -- the kids really don't care. You get the idea...

Despite all that, I'm not really complaining. I have it easy, compared to some single parents. I don't have to work out of the home at this point. I have helpful, obedient children. I have a nice home. I live in a great town with great people. I have loving, supportive friends and family. We are all healthy. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and that brings me a lot of peace. What more could I ask for? 

Until Next Time :o)