My explanation of why this book was so significant to me, is going to be long and personal. Some of you may not want to hear about my personal reasons for for reading this book and why it was such a mind bender for me. So just skip it.
Approximately 23 years ago, my older sister recommended that I read a book called "Fit For Life" by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond. I have no doubt that book changed my life. I began an exploration to find true health. Does it exist in our world? What are the parameters of achieving it if it does? I met Adam shortly after and when we married, he eagerly jumped on the wagon and we began our adventure. It was a struggle. It was conflicting and confusing. Everyone was an expert and everyone had a different opinion. But we found something that we thought was the truth and we attempted to live it. We became vegetarian, we gave up sugar, and at times we ate all raw foods. We seemed healthy. We felt really good!
These explorations led to others. Namely, building our own little house off the grid on 13 acres out in the middle of nowhere. We had a well, solar power, a septic system, a wood stove, a garden and a compost pile. We had chickens, rabbits, even pigs at one time. (but not for food, for pest control and manure!) We believed in home birth and home school. No TV, video games or computers. We had time and space for our little family to grow and flourish. We stuck to the diet as well as we could. We struggled with social issues, family pressures and cravings. But we felt it was right. And we felt good. Isn't that health?
And then the worst happened. Adam died. Killed in a car accident 3 days before his 39th birthday. Young, fit and healthy. And without my partner, my anchor, I caved. I was a coward. I put the boys in school, I bought a PS2, we ate the standard American diet. My baby grew up on McDonalds and was sick all the time. I ballooned and was depressed. I knew what was sane, for me, but I couldn't do it. Don't you know that ignorance is bliss? I wanted to be ignorant! I wanted to be like everyone else. To eat what I wanted and the consequences be damned!
But then two things happened. First, I found out I had the mutated breast and ovarian cancer gene. That supposedly means that I have a higher chance of getting one of those cancers. I am not one who worries about such things and I don't belong to the worship-the-medical-profession fan club. But what if they were right? Shouldn't I take better care of myself? Besides, if I went back to my old lifestyle, it would be a good excuse to keep people off my back.
But the other thing was bigger. One day my teenage son came home from school with a bunch of his friends. I said hello in the living room before they went upstairs. Then I went into my bedroom and happened to look in the full length mirror and felt humiliated. If I were a teenage boy and had me for a mother, I would be embarrassed to bring my friends home. It wasn't just that I was fat, it was my short, ugly hair, no makeup, my nerdy glasses, my dumpy clothing. I could do better than this! And so I did. I did what Adam taught me. You make up your mind what you want and then you just do it.
It took me between 4 and 5 years to lose 25 solid staying-off-for-good pounds. I did that by exercise and giving up chocolate. I got lasik surgery on my eyes, I colored and grew out my hair, I bought better clothing. Unfortunately with better confidence, came the desire to date. And when I met my now ex-husband, he reminded me of all the things that Adam and I had been trying to do. So with the exterior motivation of a budding romance, it only took me another year to lose 25 more pounds. I felt better than I had since 1993 and I weighed less than I did in high school, but I only felt better physically. Emotionally I was a wreck. I married a man who I shouldn't have even considered and I felt trapped. But I wasn't! All I had to do was open the cage door and step out. So, after nine long, truly absurd months, I did. And once he was gone, I felt safe to continue my exploration.
The first thing I wanted to investigate was a book that my sister recommended, and yes, it was that same sister. It was at a family picnic last fall. My ex wasn't there and so I'm sure she felt more comfortable bringing it up. The book is called "The Vegetarian Myth". At first I was offended. She knew I was a vegan. Heck if I didn't bring corn on the cob from my garden to roast, while everyone else had their steak and hot dogs! But I knew this sister had been on a similar journey the last 23 years and she wouldn't have brought it up unless she thought it was important. But how do you read a book on vegetarianism when you live with the "Thought Police(man)" who is obsessed with health? You don't.
After the D was final, one of the first things I did was buy that book. But I was scared to read it. What would it say? Would it tell me that all my years of deprivation was for naught? Would it cause me guilt for teaching and feeding my children incorrectly all these years? Would it be compelling enough for me to change my mind, my habits and my life again?
Tune in next time to find out. ;o)
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