Book # 27

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

by Wendy Watson Nelson

My Mom gave me this book for my birthday. She knows me pretty well. I loved it and it has helped me with some major issues that have been rumbling through my life. I read through it once, and now I am reading it again and actually doing some of the assignments the author suggests. It is a nice size book with lots of pictures. That sounds like a juvenile thing to say, but actually pictures can really get you thinking about more than just the written word can.  "A picture paints a thousand words", right? I am mostly going to copy some quotes from the book and comment on the ones that meant the most to me.

The moment of reflection is the moment when we become aware of that part of ourselves which we cannot see in any other way....The power of questions comes from their ability to invite us to reflect.

Read Alma 5 and select your favorite questions. Then answer them." My favorite question was "Have ye received his image in your countenance? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your heart?" This is something I have thought about a lot this last year. Partly because of a quote I found that I like which says, "Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important". But mostly because of experiences with people that shook me up about who I really am and what I really believe and how my actions reflect those things.

"Are your questions enlivening you, encouraging you, enlarging your life, expanding your vision, enriching your relationships, inviting energy and joy into your life? OR are they depressing you, discouraging and demoralizing you, inviting fear and frustration into your life?

What can I do to learn from this difficult experience? 

     Some advanced variations...

What can I do to learn what I NEED to learn from this difficult experience?

What can I do to learn what the LORD wants me to learn from this difficult experience?   

This one was powerful in my life. At the end of my divorce, the number one thing I learned was that there are worse things than being alone. Which was good for me at that point. However, 10 months later, I finally learned what God wanted me to learn, and that was about forgiveness. It was amazing!

Think about a situation where another person's actions have caused you concern. Often in such a situation you might ask yourself, "Why does he always....Why doesn't she ever....When will they....?" Such questions have no useful answers and only bog us down.....Alternative questions that can actually free your mind and heart and get you moving forward with your own life. "How or why  is that situation a problem for me?"

Four questions to help you solve problems:

1. Could your solution be the problem?

2. Could your problem be a solution?

3. Could your focus on the problem be the problem?

4. Could your problem be the story you tell about the problem?

What story have you been telling yourself and others about you and your life? 

How have you been casting yourself? As the victim, survivor, or the HERO?

What we believe is what we see. Could your beliefs be the problem? Finding our core beliefs can help us solve our problems. What beliefs about yourself hold you captive? What beliefs about another person constrain you? What beliefs about life prevent me from moving forward? What beliefs about love prevent me from giving and receiving love? If I were to believe ______ (insert helpful belief), what would be different?

SEVEN QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

1.  What is on my pre-mortal list of things to do while on earth?

2.  What is the one question I most need to have answered from the scriptures today?

3.  What are three words to follow for a great life? Her three words were "NOT EVEN ONCE", speaking of things we shouldn't do, not even once, because they can lead to a lifetime of trouble. Also of opportunities you never want to miss.  My three word motto is: 

BE  BETTER  TODAY.

4. Whose agenda is this supporting ...when we relax our spiritual muscles, don't do the spiritual work of asking and seeking, and thus live far beneath our privileges? I really like this one. If we ask ourselves this question before we act, and if we really care, I think it would make a huge difference. 

5.  If I were to pray for and picture the Holy Ghost being right beside me, how would I manage this difficult situation? Here is 5 day experiment.....For 5 days, in your morning prayers, pray with concerted effort, and with the faith of a child, for the Holy Ghost to be with you that day. Then throughout the day, as you encounter any difficult, tempting, or trying situation--right in that moment--pray for and really picture the Holy Ghost being right there with you.

6.  How can I be more of my true self at the end of this experience? .... Life is a spook alley. You never know what is around the bend or hiding in the corners. The Lord expects you to live your life fully---even the unexpected life.  All I can say is WOW. So simple, yet so profound.

     Principle #1:  Remove every obstacle that is preventing you from being your true self.

   

    Principle #2:  Remember that you lived premortally. WHO AM I??? Guess it makes sense that you would have to discover who you really are in order to BE that person.

   

     Principle #3:  You can be your true self only when you are obedient to the Lord and are near to Him.

    Principle #4:  You can be your true self only when you are increasingly pure and leave the world behind. As you come more and more out of the world, you are free to be more of your true self. As you are more of your true self, you will desire to be less and less of the world. Love that quote!

    Principle #5: To be your true self, you need to stay immersed in truth and seek in every way to be infused with light. ...The words spoken in our homes lodge in the walls of our homes, in the cells of our bodies, and in our spirits. Now that is scary!  That's a new way of expressing that thought, "if these walls could talk."

7.  What do I know to be true? How did you learn that truth? When did you learn it? What difference has that truth made in your life? Which truths are important?

D&C 88:40 -- For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own.

In times of stress or fear of hurt or discouragement  or confusion or frustration, speak words of peace and safety and joy and truth to your soul. Beautiful words of worship are filled with power. Words filled with power can bring power to our lives. 

PURITY IS POWER

OBEDIENCE TO THE LORD IS POWER

RECEIVING ORDINANCES IS POWER

MAKING AND KEEPING SACRED COVENANTS WITH THE LORD IS POWER

FORGIVENESS IS POWER

APOLOGIZING IS POWER

REPENTING IS POWER

HUMILITY IS POWER

FAITH IS POWER

RIGHTEOUSNESS IS POWER

If we really want to change our lives, we need to ask god the questions that are burdening our hearts and wearying our minds. We are to ask God--

in faith (1 Nephi 15:11)

in sincerity of heart (Mosiah 4:10

after studying things out in our minds (D&C 9:8)

not asking amiss (2 Nephi 4:35)

that which is right (Mosiah 4:21)

believing that we will receive (Mosiah 4:21)

in the name of Jesus Christ (3 Nephi 20:31)

In conclusion, she says, "I believe that most important question we come to earth to answer is this one asked by the Lord himself: 'Whom say ye that I am?' (Matt 16:15) When we know the correct answer to that question everything in our life changes. 'Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.' (Matt 16:16) The Savior did all that he did so that you and I can change and progress and become more and more like him. There is power in the Atonement to help us change our questions and change our lives!"

This is a part I liked, since I dream often.

"Elusive answers often emerge in the still of the night....What might you discover if you dedicated your sleep to the Lord for 21 days? Try it! As part of your bedtime ritual, create an environment that is conductive to the spirit. You will know what that involves for you as you pray about it. It may involve turning off the TV; watching or listening to something that is soothing to your spirit before bedtime; opening your scriptures and savoring one last morsel of truth before closing your eyes, and then leaving your scriptures open; counting your blessings--or alphabetizing them!-- and expressing gratitude for everything, even for the wretchedly difficult things in your life. Let the Lord know you are serious about dedicating your sleep to Him. Tell Him in your prayers. Let him know you want to learn whatever He would have you learn--even in your sleep. And watch what happens. What might you learn in the morning as you remain quiet for a moment before jumping out of bed? As you reflect to see if there is a dream or two you remember? Is there something you feel impressed to write down on a pad of paper by your bedside? What might you learn about your true self? What might happen as you pray for any and all instructions, directions, protections, and warnings that the Lord may be willing to give you as you sleep--perchance to dream?"

I highly recommend this book!

Until Next Time  ;o)

Book # 26

Cat's Cradle

By Kurt Vonnegut

I think this was the strangest book I have ever read, and that includes some of the literature I read in AP English in High School. And it definitely wasn't what I was hoping for. It was a case of mistaken identity. I read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury when I was a teenager, and really liked it, and when I saw a few used books by Kurt Vonnegut for sale at our library, I thought he was the author that had written F...451. Nope. Definitely not.

So the book is about a man named John, an author who is writing a book called "The Day the World Ended". He begins by researching the life of a Dr. Felix Hoenikker, one of the so-called fathers of the atomic bomb. His life becomes strangely twisted into the lives of Dr. Hoenikker's children and the destruction of the world through the invention of ice-nine. 

Although I found the book strangely absurd, there were a few parts that resonated with me. 

The first was when he told of sub-letting his apartment, while he was going to be away, to a nihilist, which word I had to look up. (These were the definitions: Nihilism is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value. Morality does not inherently exist, and that any established moral values are abstractly contrived. Knowledge is not possible, or that contrary to popular belief, some aspect of reality does not exist as such. The term nihilism is sometimes used in association with anomie to explain the general mood of despair at a perceived pointlessness of existence that one may develop upon realizing there are no necessary norms, rules, or laws.) How positively delightful!

Upon returning, he found the fellow moved out and his apartment trashed...."he had run up three-hundred-dollars worth of long distance calls, set my couch on fire in five places, killed my cat and my avocado tree, and torn the door off my medicine cabinet....There was a sign hung around my dead cat's neck. It said 'Meow.' ....I have not seen Krebbs since...he served as...a person who steers people away from a line of speculation by reducing that line, with the example of the (person's) own life, to an absurdity. I might have been vaguely inclined to dismiss the stone angel as meaningless, and to go from there to the meaningless of all. But after I saw what Krebbs had done, in particular to my sweet cat, nihilism was not for me. Somebody or something did not wish me to be a nihilist. It was Krebb's mission, whether he knew it or not, to disenchant me with that philosophy. Well done Mr. Krebbs, well done."

In relating that experience to myself, without going into a lot of detail, I will just say that there were some aspects of my life that were similar to my ex-husband's. And once I saw how ridiculous his behavior was, it made me feel strongly inclined to act differently. 

Well done ex-husband, well done!

The next part was so amusing to me. It is pretty long, otherwise I would copy it here. Long story short, John meets a woman on a flight to an island called San Lorenzo. She finds out that he is from Indiana and proceeds to go on and on and on about Hoosiers, famous Hoosiers and how they can be found in charge of things all over the world, and how they must stick together. Then she tells him that he must call her mom. 

"Whenever I meet a young Hoosier, I tell them, "You call me Mom." 

"Uh Huh." he replies. 

"Let me hear you say it," she urged.

"Mom?"

She smiled and let go of my arm. 

(And this is the funniest part and I'm sure that you all know people with recordings like this!) 

"Some piece of clockwork had completed it's cycle. My calling Hazel "Mom" had shut it off, and now Hazel was rewinding it for the next Hoozier to come along.

In telling this next part I find that I'm going to have to explain a bit more of the story, something that I really didn't want to do. San Lorenzo is an island that is a poor, worthless piece of rock in the middle of the ocean. One of the current leaders of the country is a "holy" man who founded their religion called Bokononism. He is writing a book called the "Books of Bokonon." John found a copy of the book, which actually has been banned, and the religion made illegal to practice. He shared the Fourteenth book of Bokonon, which was entitled, "What Can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years?" "It doesn't take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it:    'Nothing'."    Pretty depressing religion, eh?

Last one...

"Bokonon....had written a whole book about Utopias, The Seventh Book, which he had called Bokonon's Republic. In that book are these ghastly aphorisms: 

The hand that stocks the drug store rules the world. 

Let us start our republic with a chain of drug stores, 

a chain of grocery stores, 

a chain of gas chambers, 

and a national game. 

After that we can write our Constitution."

I almost want to read another of his books, just to see if they are all that strange and depressing. But I think I'll wait until I am bored out of my skull and have NOTHING else to do. lol....

Until Next Time ;o)

Book # 25

Silks

By Dick Francis & Felix Francis

Dick Francis and I have had a long, satisfying relationship. I was introduced to his books of horse racing, crime, mystery and suspense when I was 18. I was a nanny for a family in Connecticut and the father really liked his books. He knew I liked to read and so suggested I try one. I fell in love! I am not a particular fan of horse racing, or even of horses, especially since I had one try to kill me (lol), and another one bite me (ouch). But I like them vicariously through his books and have learned a lot about horses, racing and jockeys. Which isn't surprising because he was an English jockey before he became a great author. Often he will have the main character working at another profession, as in "Silks", the main character was a Barrister (a English word for lawyer) who rode as an amateur jockey, and so I usually learn about more than just racing. There is usually a little bit of a love story, some action, a mystery, a lot of suspense, and I love his characters because they are imperfect and sometimes scared and far from the hero, but they always come through in the end. 

This story is about an English Barrister, Geoffrey Mason who is being intimidated into losing in a trial where he is representing a jockey charged with murdering another jockey, even though he knows his client didn't do it. There is a mysterious missing photo, some frightening intimidation, an unsure romance (as he lost his wife and unborn child 7 years earlier) and a great story.

Dick is getting old, which isn't surprising considering he had a long list of novels already written by the time I was introduced to him 28 years ago. Luckily for us, he has a son, Felix who has co-written the last few novels with his father and shows every intention of carrying on the great work.

Until next time ;o)

Book # 24

A Different Kind of Christmas

By Alex Haley

I have never read Roots, although it is a book that I would like to tackle someday, like when I'm stuck in bed for a month or something. This book, by the same author, is short and sweet. It is about a young southern man, Fletcher Randall,  in 1855, attending Princeton University. He is tired of being harassed by Yankees and so he asks to be reassigned to another dorm. He is allowed to move and in his new building he is befriended by 3 brothers, who are quiet, gentle "Friends"---Quakers. He knows that they are anti-slavery, and his family own the 4th largest plantation in his county, and over 100 slaves, but he appreciates their friendship, and their peaceful ways intrigue him. They invite him to visit their home in Philadelphia one weekend and he gladly accepts. He loves their family and the city, especially Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. But then they throw him into a turmoil of emotion when they introduce him to a successful business man in Philadelphia, who just happens to be a black man. "Mr. Randall, meet Mr. Fortas, our family's friend, our city's finest sailmaker, and one of our most prosperous businessmen. Fletcher almost collapsed as if shot. He felt his face flush hot as the black man shook his hand. As if he were an equal! A pleasure, sir, Fortas said. Fletcher could say nothing and he knew that his three host brothers saw his face turn crimson....Fletcher's right hand felt indelibly soiled..."  They take him to a rally, where recently escaped slaves share their stories of brutality. Fletcher knows nothing of this. All he has known are the house slaves, which are almost like family, and are never abused. The field slaves are handled by the overseer. He is so upset that he refuses to talk to his friends on the 10 hour trip home, and does not talk to them when back in school either. But the damage has been done, he cannot forget what he saw and learned. He begins to study everything he can get his hands on in the library, about slavery and about the underground railroad. His grades suffer because he has become obsessed with his research, and so he has to stay in school for the summer to make up the classes that he failed in. Finally he takes another trip to Philadelphia. He finds his friends and apologizes for his behavior. Then he travels to independence hall. "He wanted to look again at that historic gray stone edifice, this time from his widened perception of human frailties. Because, as he had furthered his research at the college library, he had come to realize the monumental irony that when the Framers had signed the new Constitution, with its ringing promises of freedom and justice for all mankind, many among them---indeed, some of the most prominent ones---were slave owners." His next stop is another rally, where he is "furious at those who had made it possible to indict the South by wantonly inflicting the terrible beatings..." He returns to school and considers dropping out and going home. Then one day he is in his moral philosophy class, taught by his favorite teacher. His teacher reads them a letter written by Frederick Douglass, an escaped slave. It read, "In a composite Nation like ours, made up of almost every variety of the human family...there should be as before the Law...no rich, no poor, no high, no low...no black, no white...but one country, one citizenship, equal rights...and a common destiny for all. A government that can not or does not protect...the humblest citizen in his right...to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...should be reformed or overthrown without delay." Fletcher later wrote, "When a human being is capable of writing this letter, if that human being is in bondage, in slavery--if that human being is another being's property--then the bondage, the slavery, is wrong." Fletcher takes another trip to Philadelphia, and this time he volunteers to work for the underground railroad. Later, when he goes home for Christmas vacation, he is given his first assignment---to help 12 slaves escape. He would be helped by another agent, who would make himself known to Fletcher by asking him the question "Am I your brother?" 

Well, I won't tell you the whole story, but in the end, Fletcher sacrifices much to save the life of a black man on Christmas Eve. 

Until next time ;o)

Book # 23

Promises to Keep

by Dean Hughes. 

I liked this book and I hated it. In his series, “Hearts of the children” there is a character named Diane who marries an abusive husband and then divorces him at the end of the series. So this book is about what happens to her after that. She raises her daughter alone for the next 18 years and is so-so okay. She dates but can't find the right guy. The story begins when her daughter is 15, and she meets this widower who wants a friend and likes her a lot, but can't see marrying anyone else and is having loads of trouble with his kids anyway. At the end of the book, Diane decides to move on with her life without him and to be successful and happy no matter what. And I am cheering, thinking YES! Finally, someone dared to write a book without that standard fairy tale ending.... boy and girl get together and live happily ever after. That standard tale that says “YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE”. At times, my heart would agree, but my head usually butts in to tell me that that's a load of horse manure! There are about 40 widows in my ward and I know that they all miss their husbands (at least some of the time, haha) but they are living life without them. I wonder what the percentage of widows who remarry is? Anyway.....sigh..... of course in the very last chapter, the fellow shows up and tells her that he loves her and that he does want to remarry and that he wants to give their relationship a shot. And I am gagging with disappointment! We need a novel that says a woman without a man can be happy and live life. Because most of us widows, and divorcees too, will remain alone. We need encouragement that we can do it alone, that we can be happy and content, that we are not misfits. We don't need any more stories that make us yearn for the maybe-never-gonna-happen fairy tale. I guess I need to be the one to write it. 

Until next time ;o)