Book # 27

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

by Wendy Watson Nelson

My Mom gave me this book for my birthday. She knows me pretty well. I loved it and it has helped me with some major issues that have been rumbling through my life. I read through it once, and now I am reading it again and actually doing some of the assignments the author suggests. It is a nice size book with lots of pictures. That sounds like a juvenile thing to say, but actually pictures can really get you thinking about more than just the written word can.  "A picture paints a thousand words", right? I am mostly going to copy some quotes from the book and comment on the ones that meant the most to me.

The moment of reflection is the moment when we become aware of that part of ourselves which we cannot see in any other way....The power of questions comes from their ability to invite us to reflect.

Read Alma 5 and select your favorite questions. Then answer them." My favorite question was "Have ye received his image in your countenance? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your heart?" This is something I have thought about a lot this last year. Partly because of a quote I found that I like which says, "Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important". But mostly because of experiences with people that shook me up about who I really am and what I really believe and how my actions reflect those things.

"Are your questions enlivening you, encouraging you, enlarging your life, expanding your vision, enriching your relationships, inviting energy and joy into your life? OR are they depressing you, discouraging and demoralizing you, inviting fear and frustration into your life?

What can I do to learn from this difficult experience? 

     Some advanced variations...

What can I do to learn what I NEED to learn from this difficult experience?

What can I do to learn what the LORD wants me to learn from this difficult experience?   

This one was powerful in my life. At the end of my divorce, the number one thing I learned was that there are worse things than being alone. Which was good for me at that point. However, 10 months later, I finally learned what God wanted me to learn, and that was about forgiveness. It was amazing!

Think about a situation where another person's actions have caused you concern. Often in such a situation you might ask yourself, "Why does he always....Why doesn't she ever....When will they....?" Such questions have no useful answers and only bog us down.....Alternative questions that can actually free your mind and heart and get you moving forward with your own life. "How or why  is that situation a problem for me?"

Four questions to help you solve problems:

1. Could your solution be the problem?

2. Could your problem be a solution?

3. Could your focus on the problem be the problem?

4. Could your problem be the story you tell about the problem?

What story have you been telling yourself and others about you and your life? 

How have you been casting yourself? As the victim, survivor, or the HERO?

What we believe is what we see. Could your beliefs be the problem? Finding our core beliefs can help us solve our problems. What beliefs about yourself hold you captive? What beliefs about another person constrain you? What beliefs about life prevent me from moving forward? What beliefs about love prevent me from giving and receiving love? If I were to believe ______ (insert helpful belief), what would be different?

SEVEN QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

1.  What is on my pre-mortal list of things to do while on earth?

2.  What is the one question I most need to have answered from the scriptures today?

3.  What are three words to follow for a great life? Her three words were "NOT EVEN ONCE", speaking of things we shouldn't do, not even once, because they can lead to a lifetime of trouble. Also of opportunities you never want to miss.  My three word motto is: 

BE  BETTER  TODAY.

4. Whose agenda is this supporting ...when we relax our spiritual muscles, don't do the spiritual work of asking and seeking, and thus live far beneath our privileges? I really like this one. If we ask ourselves this question before we act, and if we really care, I think it would make a huge difference. 

5.  If I were to pray for and picture the Holy Ghost being right beside me, how would I manage this difficult situation? Here is 5 day experiment.....For 5 days, in your morning prayers, pray with concerted effort, and with the faith of a child, for the Holy Ghost to be with you that day. Then throughout the day, as you encounter any difficult, tempting, or trying situation--right in that moment--pray for and really picture the Holy Ghost being right there with you.

6.  How can I be more of my true self at the end of this experience? .... Life is a spook alley. You never know what is around the bend or hiding in the corners. The Lord expects you to live your life fully---even the unexpected life.  All I can say is WOW. So simple, yet so profound.

     Principle #1:  Remove every obstacle that is preventing you from being your true self.

   

    Principle #2:  Remember that you lived premortally. WHO AM I??? Guess it makes sense that you would have to discover who you really are in order to BE that person.

   

     Principle #3:  You can be your true self only when you are obedient to the Lord and are near to Him.

    Principle #4:  You can be your true self only when you are increasingly pure and leave the world behind. As you come more and more out of the world, you are free to be more of your true self. As you are more of your true self, you will desire to be less and less of the world. Love that quote!

    Principle #5: To be your true self, you need to stay immersed in truth and seek in every way to be infused with light. ...The words spoken in our homes lodge in the walls of our homes, in the cells of our bodies, and in our spirits. Now that is scary!  That's a new way of expressing that thought, "if these walls could talk."

7.  What do I know to be true? How did you learn that truth? When did you learn it? What difference has that truth made in your life? Which truths are important?

D&C 88:40 -- For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own.

In times of stress or fear of hurt or discouragement  or confusion or frustration, speak words of peace and safety and joy and truth to your soul. Beautiful words of worship are filled with power. Words filled with power can bring power to our lives. 

PURITY IS POWER

OBEDIENCE TO THE LORD IS POWER

RECEIVING ORDINANCES IS POWER

MAKING AND KEEPING SACRED COVENANTS WITH THE LORD IS POWER

FORGIVENESS IS POWER

APOLOGIZING IS POWER

REPENTING IS POWER

HUMILITY IS POWER

FAITH IS POWER

RIGHTEOUSNESS IS POWER

If we really want to change our lives, we need to ask god the questions that are burdening our hearts and wearying our minds. We are to ask God--

in faith (1 Nephi 15:11)

in sincerity of heart (Mosiah 4:10

after studying things out in our minds (D&C 9:8)

not asking amiss (2 Nephi 4:35)

that which is right (Mosiah 4:21)

believing that we will receive (Mosiah 4:21)

in the name of Jesus Christ (3 Nephi 20:31)

In conclusion, she says, "I believe that most important question we come to earth to answer is this one asked by the Lord himself: 'Whom say ye that I am?' (Matt 16:15) When we know the correct answer to that question everything in our life changes. 'Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.' (Matt 16:16) The Savior did all that he did so that you and I can change and progress and become more and more like him. There is power in the Atonement to help us change our questions and change our lives!"

This is a part I liked, since I dream often.

"Elusive answers often emerge in the still of the night....What might you discover if you dedicated your sleep to the Lord for 21 days? Try it! As part of your bedtime ritual, create an environment that is conductive to the spirit. You will know what that involves for you as you pray about it. It may involve turning off the TV; watching or listening to something that is soothing to your spirit before bedtime; opening your scriptures and savoring one last morsel of truth before closing your eyes, and then leaving your scriptures open; counting your blessings--or alphabetizing them!-- and expressing gratitude for everything, even for the wretchedly difficult things in your life. Let the Lord know you are serious about dedicating your sleep to Him. Tell Him in your prayers. Let him know you want to learn whatever He would have you learn--even in your sleep. And watch what happens. What might you learn in the morning as you remain quiet for a moment before jumping out of bed? As you reflect to see if there is a dream or two you remember? Is there something you feel impressed to write down on a pad of paper by your bedside? What might you learn about your true self? What might happen as you pray for any and all instructions, directions, protections, and warnings that the Lord may be willing to give you as you sleep--perchance to dream?"

I highly recommend this book!

Until Next Time  ;o)